This retrograde placement in the chart may be one of the hardest to work through especially since Chiron itself is a placement of painful realizations and deep spiritual healing. It can feel like, the early part of your life was one big “dark night of the soul” kind of experience where you might have endured through heart-breaking, disappointing and hopeless situations, events that seem to rub salt on your inner wounds. It’s as if your inner wounds are out in the open, for those with bad intentions to hurt you even more.
So, you might have gone through one major healing journey after another, just to end up repeating the previous cycles until you were sure that you can move on. This process might have left you feeling exhausted and (frankly) defeated. But the key to truly healing yourself is “acceptance”, as simple as it sounds, it can be harder to internalize the fact that you are hurt, that you have been hurting for a long time, but every bad thing must also come to an end, and so it will. Walking with faith may have been the most testing experience for you, but staying on the course and never giving up on hope will be a vital lesson with this placement.
In the process, you will have to confront the part of you that thinks that “you are nothing but a victim of gruesome circumstances”, since self-pity and victimhood may manifest into projections onto others if you are not being careful about them. Finding a silver-lining in every situation, changing your thought-patterns, making healthier choices/decisions, believing in yourself & hence finding enough courage to face any possible future whether good or bad, speaking of which, re-programming your mind to expect positive situations/outcomes, etc. will be hard yet vital steps that you can take towards self-development from consciously shifting your perspective towards an optimistic life thereby eventually manifesting it into existence.
Therapy, meditation, spiritual/religious practices, artistic endeavors, etc. can help you stay connected to your inner self. Celebrating every small win will help you cultivate a stronger self-confidence. Assimilating your past, or even accepting some of the things that you have endured can be an emotionally taxing work, but you might discover that you have the internal strength to do it and come out wiser, stronger & more in tune with yourself. The journey to healing & recovering may have been long & tiresome, but you will be happy to realize that you are already near the finish line before you know it. This placement can seem karmic, heavily so, but that is exactly what makes it powerful and significant when it comes to being spiritually led & protected.
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